The Zog Mob

My Mother And Birds

2009-12-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know the story behind mom and 'The Birds', here is the version I was treated to:

Once upon a doublewide, a noise was heard in the kitchen. My father investigated, his ear coming to rest upon the hood of the oven. A quick knock on it released a terrified sparrow that proceeded to bang about the appliances, causing quite a ruckus. My brother and I proceeded to roll about the floor, laughing our heads off. But it gets better, friends and Aunties, as my mother came in to determine what the ruckus was all about.

And proceeded to scream her head off.

Which prompted the poor sparrow to think he had found another soul to suffer with in harmony. He flitted straight towards her, thinking that if anyone knew the way out, it would be the tall flightless one equally terrified as it was.

So she ran.

Down the hall. With the sparrow in pursuit.

She screamed and yelled her way into the master bedroom. As did the witless little sparrow.

Mother slammed the bathroom door shut.

The sparrow slammed into the bathroom door.

Mum locked herself in the shower, whimpering while Dad and I removed the now completely unconscious sparrow from the house, barely able to stand from laughing so hard.

To this day, Mom's relationship with birds still to this day brings a tear of mirth to my all.

Catch Up

2009-04-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

Recently I headed back to my hometown for a visit. I took a week off so I could take the kids camping and hiking. Thanks to there being a freak snow storm on Spring Break, the camping trip was canceled. Instead, we goofed off, in true Herzog fashion.

The kids took me to the movies, I caught up on sleep, we treated Mom and Matt to dinner at Chico's, and I fed Dad the leftovers ;) A good time was had by all. And to make up not camping to my kids, I took them on a long and grueling hike above the Columbia.

We even managed to get a word in with one of the locals!

First sign of spring...

2009-02-01T18:58:00.000-08:00

Are robins, and I saw my first one in Kititas today!!!!

A TV almost killed me...

2009-01-26T20:53:00.000-08:00

I know I've posted about the dangers of being a satellite technician before, but Saturday I nearly bit it as a 27" old style console TV decided to fall on me from above.

Very few of the techs I work with can actually visualize this, but I'll try to describe it: I was working on bringing in cables for a standard receiver the customer wanted in her bedroom media armoire, and had to move the existing shelving a bit to get them to budge. The TV was sitting on the top shelf, a shelf supported by four tiny pegs in the armoire's sides. Well, I had moved the TV an inch or so forward on it's shelves, as its back was actually pinning all the cables and wires of the components on the bottom shelves (the Dish Network receiver and the VCR, namely). I managed to scoot things around and mess about with the cables twice before this television, sitting at least 3' above the ground, decided to pitch forward onto me, who was kneeling below it, my head and right arm eye level with the shelf below the TV.

I caught the television with the right side of my head, my shoulder, and my right wrist, but only in defense, and the TV toppled into my lap and then crashed onto the floor. The customers came running in to find their tech half under their now shattered TV, holding her head and obviously trying her damndest not to swear.

This resulted in yet another wonderful visit to the ER, this time in Ellensburg, where I met yet another quack of an ER doc who prescribed me, of all things, Vicodin. Last I checked, if a person is allergic to codeine, vicodin should NOT be prescribed for pain. I had to have x-rays and wore a neck brace (briefly, thank god, because those stupid things are so not designed for square jaws) and was given an anti inflamatory shot that did freaking wonders.

The next morning, all I could do was cry, I was in so much pain. I couldn't take the damn scrip and fill it, I couldn't call the ER and ask for another prescrip, I couldn't freaking move without crying...

I'll have you know that I'm not thrilled to be the only tech in Yakima who has had a television fall on them. It hurts and is definitely not a great way to garner the respect of others in your field.

The things I have to do...

2008-10-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start taking my camera with me on jobs.

You would not believe the mess my last customer's crawl space was. First, to get to this filthy space, you have to go through a closet floor, which is usually my favorite crawl space access. Once you drop in, though, it immediately becomes apparent that moving around is not going to be easy, even in low crawl mode. The original heat and air duct work, all tin tunnels, was wrapped in 5 inches of fiber glass insulation, and just happened to enclose the space you land in when dropping in to the crawl space. If that wasn't bad enough, they'd added a few new ducts, the 3' tubes that look like overgrown drier hose. And, because these people were thorough, they'd insulated THAT as well.

Now, I'm not real crazy about spaces like that, but it's okay, as long as there aren't a ton of webs. And, at first glance, this space wasn't all that bad. But I guess that's because these webs were Black Widow webs, which don't pick up dust like normal webs. EWWWWW... Even then, I'll usually still be able to get through the space without giving much thought to the webs, unless the builder is present.

Picture me, squeezing my fluffy body with two layers of clothing into a space about 8" tall, and coming face to face with no less than 4 male widows. ICK!!! When faced with those situations, I tend to try to rationalize my way through the rest of the job. Which takes forever.

Having successfully talked myself into finishing what I've started (after all, the holes in the walls are already drilled, cable already dropped, I just have to feed it to the outside vent), I continue forward, and manage to grab 2 out of 3 cables and take them to where I'm routing them with little in the way of widow confrontations.

And then: I have to feed the last line through to the living room from the family room, so that the receiver's AV can be mirrored. As I'm crawling to the feed hole I started, I happen to look up and see a hornets nest the size of a 26" standard television. OH MY GOD! These critters had managed to lay claim to one of the space's air vents and proceeded to build into the space. It was a crazy huge hive, the largest I've seen in person. I don't think spray would have worked on that one.

So, yeah, a two hour job turned into a 6 hour job, all because of an unbelievable crawl space.

Ick.

Where Creative Juice Comes From

2008-09-23T07:42:00.001-07:00

"He will make Cheney look like Ghandi!"

2008-09-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

Those are strong words, words that make one wonder exactly who could possibly make Cheney, the American God of War himself, look like a peaceful demonstrator???

Watch this flick...

Christian the Lion

2008-08-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

I've been sort of following this story recently, about Christian the lion and his two human friends. I thought I'd share the short clip with you all, and, if you are interested in helping save more lions like Christian (yes, that would mean releasing captive bred lions into the wild, children), I'd point you to this site: http://www.bornfree.org.uk/

Dangers of being an installer...

2008-08-12T00:02:00.000-07:00

I know that everyone wonders about the hazards of being an installer for my company. They think, "Oh, the ladders are so dangerous!" or "You never know if the customer is stable or not..."

Well, let me clear something up here tonight: the biggest risk you run when installing satellite systems is the wildlife. And in Ephrata, the scariest wildlife you'll ever meet are the cougars.

I had a run in with roughly twelve of those ferocious beasts on Sunday, lived, and even managed to take a picture or two in my hasty retreat!

Norwegian soldiers in Kosovo...

2008-07-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when we let college aged kids enlist! LOL At least they still have their senses of humor...

KOSOVO - Watch more free videos

British Army enjoying life...

2008-07-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

Who says you can't have fun in the British Dragoons?

Amarillo Spoof By Royal Guard - Watch more free videos

LA fights low income obesity...

2008-07-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

Obesity in lower income families has always been prevalent, and was a problem long before McDonald's came into being. But it seems as though LA's city council has forgotten this, or chosen to ignore it. They have decided it is time to get rid of the fast food joints in their low income south side.

As an alternative, they want to intice sit down eateries into the area. Again, they are ignoring two essential facts in their pursuit: 1) that the obese they are trying to save from themselves cannot afford a sit down eatery like Denny's or IHOP; and 2) that these eateries have no interest in starting up shop in the south side.

The reason fast food is so 'popular' among residents of the south side is that there are dollar menus that allow for cheap and easy decision making. Fast food also has the additional benefit of being FAST.. You don't have to sit down and wait for your food to be ready... It is pre made, allowing for people with the munchies to go in and grab their food, then get out.

I think that rather than get rid of the fast food joints, they should encourage those establishments to offer healthier options at cheaper prices...

But then, thats where the crux of the matter lies. Healthy, fresh foods cost more than fries, burgers and so on. It is why obesity has been around for so many ages in poor sections of civilization.

For the link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080729/ap_on_he_me/fast_food_ban

You know you are getting old when...

2008-07-15T13:47:00.001-07:00

Not that I'm old, or even anywhere close to being middle aged, but sometimes I can feel time pressing down hard on my life. I find myself a little breathless when I think of losing my parents and becoming an orphan (much as they have recently become). Every time I see my brother, I know I'm getting older, because he already looks as though he's forty. Being a parent doesn't help matters much.

Cash is fond of drawing parallels between things he views as ancient and myself. If we watch a black and white movie, he asks me what it was like not having color in my cartoons. Or when there's a documentary on about an era like Victorian England, I get to fend off queries regarding the novelty of trading in horses for cars! How do you explain to an eight year old that you are nowhere near as prehistoric as he believes? Especially when you remember how ancient your parents seemed when they celebrated their 30th birthdays?

Now, of course, I find myself hoping my parents are done aging. Its isn't a fun thing to watch, although I'll admit that the outward process of aging doesn't seem to slow them down much. My mom actually does more things now than she did when I was growing up, although she doesn't socialize near as much. And my dad... Well, I think only getting hit with a mack truck would slow him down. Sure, he naps frequently, rants about various injustices in the world, and generally shows no respect for other people's feelings re: foul language. But, let me tell you, he's been like that ever since he was a teen!

So, that leaves me here, knowing I'm getting older, not seeing much of an improvement in my life when it comes to adventures and intrigues. Truthfully, I'm content with the decline of surprises. The only thing that pisses me off about getting older is how I'm the only one around I can depend on to make the next few years fun!